Since I'm so excited to film my web series about Greek gods in therapy this summer, I'm putting both of my Greek mythology books on sale! They're 99¢ today through June 16th, so I hope you'll check them out! : )
0 Comments
The Godly Acres Indiegogo campaign is live! Please help us raise some money to pay our awesome cast, feed the cast and crew, and buy any props and costumes we still need. If you contribute, there are some great perks you can get (stickers, magnets, keychains, books, etc.), and if you can't donate but would still like to help us reach our goal, please share the Indiegogo link on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Thanks so much! : )
Oh, and make sure you watch the video, so you can hear me sing about Greek gods and watch me try to act. ; ) https://igg.me/at/godlyacres/x/13783874 I'm happy to announce that a reading of my short play Godly Acres will be part of the Itinerant Literate's Independent Bookstore Day Celebration on April 30th! It'll be at 1:30 p.m. at The Brew Cellar in North Charleston, so if you're in town, I hope you'll come see it! : )
You can find all of the info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1739178049630889/ I'm so excited to go to L.A. this summer and film the Godly Acres web series, which is about Greek gods and goddesses in therapy! If you'd like to keep up with what's going on with the web series, come follow us on Facebook! : )
https://www.facebook.com/godlyacres/ I wrote a web series about Greek gods in therapy (based on the Godly Acres plays that are in Goat Herpes and Other Problems, my third book), and I'm so excited to film it in L.A. in a few months with my amazing cast! Here's a little preview...this is from the Ares episode. : )
WILLOW Have a seat. (Ares stomps over to the couch and sits down hard.) WILLOW (cont’d) Are you trying to break my couch? ARES Maybe. WILLOW Why? ARES I hate it. WILLOW Why so angry, Ares? ARES I’m the god of war, what do you expect? WILLOW It can’t be that simple. Tell me about your childhood. ARES It was typical. I was one of dozens of kids, and even though I was one of the few that Dad actually had with his wife, I really had to work for his attention. He paid more attention to the kids he had with random women than he did to me. Fighting was the only way I could get him to notice me…and I still always felt like he didn’t like me. WILLOW I’m sure that’s not true. ARES It is. He wrote it in my birthday card the one time he remembered to give me one. WILLOW That’s so sad. ARES Dad’s kind of a dick. WILLOW I noticed. ARES I hate the way he treats Mom. She’s the best. WILLOW It must’ve been tough growing up with a father who constantly cheated on your mother. ARES It made me furious! I’ve never understood why Mom’s not enough for him. She has a pretty face, she smells great, and she keeps it tight in all the right places. WILLOW What an inappropriate thing to say about your mother. I see that you inherited at least one trait from your father. Copyright ©2015 By Crystal Smith-Connelly For the first time, all of my books will be on sale for 99¢ at the same time! The sale runs December 22nd-December 28th, so if you get a Kindle for Christmas, or if you need a last-minute gift for the comedy/Greek mythology/blasphemy/paranormal fan in your life, I hope you'll consider my books. : )
You can find them all here: http://www.amazon.com/Crystal%20Smith-Connelly/e/B0081JDXW4/ref=la_B0081JDXW4_rf_p_n_feature_browse-b_1?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_82%3AB0081JDXW4%2Cp_n_feature_browse-bin%3A618073011&bbn=283155&ie=UTF8&qid=1450203077&rnid=618072011 For I Am Zeus: A Collection of Plays About Greek Mythology: For I Am Zeus: A Collection of Plays About Greek Mythology contains six short plays about the most entertaining of the Greek gods. Join Zeus as he suffers through marriage counseling, makes an indecent proposal to his sisters, and tries to sleep with anything that moves. www.amazon.com/Am-Zeus-Collection-Plays-Mythology-ebook/dp/B0085H0MH6/ Never Trust an Angel and Other Plays: Satan is sure that his overachieving son will run Hell someday, but his wife has a secret that may change everything. Jesus wants to quit his job to start a Christian metal band, and now it's up to God to find a new Messiah...but the person he has in mind doesn't want the job. Will God be able to find a suitable Messiah? Will Christian metal be as terrible as it sounds, or will Jesus take the music business by storm? Will Satan and Angel's relationship survive Angel's betrayal? You'll find answers to these questions and more (How did Judas end up with a courtroom TV show?) in Never Trust an Angel and Other Plays. www.amazon.com/Never-Trust-Angel-Other-Plays-ebook/dp/B00C372PIS/ Goat Herpes and Other Problems: It's Willow's first day on the job at Godly Acres, the world's premier rehabilitation facility for gods and goddesses, and she might be in over her head. Sex addiction, alcoholism, eating disorders, goat herpes...you name it, there's a Greek god who has it. Will she be able to help these gods and goddesses work through their issues? Find out in Goat Herpes and Other Problems! (Goat Herpes and Other Problems contains the plays "Godly Acres," "Godly Acres: Bitch Session," and "Playing Doctor.") www.amazon.com/Herpes-Other-Problems-Crystal-Smith-Connelly-ebook/dp/B00KNDYRXA/ Paranormal Jokes and Haiku: Paranormal Jokes and Haiku explores the lighter side of the paranormal...you won't get scared reading these poems and corny jokes about ghosts, aliens, Bigfoot, and other creatures of the unknown! The book contains 49 haiku and 26 groan-inducing jokes from paranormal blogger Crystal Smith-Connelly (of the blog Why would you want to be normal when you could be paranormal?). Why do they call him Bigfoot? Are they trying to Make him self-conscious? What is a ghost's favorite instrument? The boo-kulele www.amazon.com/Paranormal-Jokes-Haiku-Crystal-Smith-Connelly-ebook/dp/B00U1SPTZM/ When I was 14 years old, I heard a song called “Quiet” on the radio, and it changed my life forever. I still remember the date I first saw the band behind that song…it was June 27, 1995, and it was the day that Jump, Little Children became my favorite band. Their music was like nothing I’d ever heard (and with so many instruments that I wasn’t used to hearing in the music I typically listened to), and I fell in love with it instantly. I couldn’t believe that I was lucky enough to live in the same city as this incredible band, and I saw them close to fifty times without ever having to leave Charleston. My whole family loved them too, and luckily my dad was willing to spend many a Saturday night at the Music Farm, so I could see my favorite band.
Unlike many teenagers, I only had fond memories of my high school years, and my parents never had to worry about me getting into trouble because I spent most of my time listening to Jump, making other people listen to them, going to their concerts, trying to start their fan club, and learning to make my own music. I’d always loved singing (in private), but I didn’t become a musician until Jump came into my life. I was so inspired by them that I was no longer content just listening to music…I needed to make my own, so I started writing songs at the age of 16 and learned how to play the guitar and keyboard. I wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but as someone who has always been fairly shy, the idea of performing in front of people was pretty scary, so I took a musical theatre class in college in order to learn how to perform for an audience. I was insanely nervous the first time I had to perform for the class, but by the end of the semester, I was routinely volunteering to go first and ended up taking the class two more times because I loved having an audience. I got to hear other people singing a song I wrote in my Scene to Song class (which was an awesome feeling), and I’ve written two musicals…and none of this would’ve happened if Jump hadn’t inspired me to start writing songs. Jump was a huge part of my life from 1995-2005, so of course I was heartbroken when they announced that the Dock Street concert on December 30, 2005, would be their last. (There were lots of tears…the only other times I’ve cried that much were when my pets have died and when Arrested Development got canceled.) Though I didn’t get to see them anymore, I never found another band that I loved as much as Jump, so ten years after the last time I saw them, they’re still my favorite band. The day they announced their reunion tour was one of the happiest days of my life, and I’m overjoyed that I’ll be able to see them at the Dock Street Theatre this year (two days before my birthday, so BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!). This band means so much to so many people, and they’re easy to love not just because they’re amazing musicians, but because they’re genuinely great people who truly appreciate their fans. Jump, Little Children helped make me who I am today, and though my dream career changed from singer-songwriter to playwright/comedy writer, listening to lots of Jump music lately has made me want to focus on music again. I started writing songs again, am learning a new instrument (ukulele…and my favorite song to play happens to be Jump’s “Mexico”), and my husband and I are seriously considering starting the world’s first husband and wife theremin-ukulele duo. (I’m assuming we’d be the first because why would that already be a thing?) Thank you, Jump, for inspiring me. Thank for teaching me to always do what I love and encouraging me to never give up. Thank you for the wonderful music and the memories I’ll always treasure. Thank you for doing this reunion tour and giving your fans a chance to see their favorite band again. Thank you for everything. I think two of my books are pretty appropriate to read around Halloween, so I decided to put them on sale for 99¢.
Never Trust an Angel and Other Plays will be on sale October 21st-25th: Satan is sure that his overachieving son will run Hell someday, but his wife has a secret that may change everything. Jesus wants to quit his job to start a Christian metal band, and now it's up to God to find a new Messiah...but the person he has in mind doesn't want the job. Will God be able to find a suitable Messiah? Will Christian metal be as terrible as it sounds, or will Jesus take the music business by storm? Will Satan and Angel's relationship survive Angel's betrayal? You'll find answers to these questions and more (How did Judas end up with a courtroom TV show?) in Never Trust an Angel and Other Plays. http://www.amazon.com/Never-Trust-Angel-Other-Plays-ebook/dp/B00C372PIS/ Paranormal Jokes and Haiku will be on sale October 28th-November 2nd: Paranormal Jokes and Haiku explores the lighter side of the paranormal...you won't get scared reading these poems and corny jokes about ghosts, aliens, Bigfoot, and other creatures of the unknown! The book contains 49 haiku and 26 groan-inducing jokes from paranormal blogger Crystal Smith-Connelly (of the blog Why would you want to be normal when you could be paranormal?). Why do they call him Bigfoot? Are they trying to Make him self-conscious? What is a ghost's favorite instrument? The boo-kulele http://www.amazon.com/Paranormal-Jokes-Haiku-Crystal-Smith-Connelly-ebook/dp/B00U1SPTZM/ The Kindle versions of both of my Greek mythology books are on sale for 99¢ August 4th-8th. If you read them, I hope they make you laugh. : )
For I Am Zeus: A Collection of Plays About Greek Mythology http://www.amazon.com/For-Am-Zeus-Collection-Mythology-ebook/dp/B0085H0MH6/ Goat Herpes and Other Problems http://www.amazon.com/Herpes-Other-Problems-Crystal-Smith-Connelly-ebook/dp/B00KNDYRXA/ For I Am Zeus has been translated into Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese, so if you want to read about Zeus being a perv in another language, now's your chance! ; )
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1?ie=UTF8&field-author=Crystal+Smith-Connelly&search-alias=digital-text&text=Crystal+Smith-Connelly&sort=relevancerank Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Crystal%20Smith-Connelly%22?Ntk=P_key_Contributor_List&Ns=P_Sales_Rank&Ntx=mode+matchall Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/search?query=Crystal%20Smith-Connelly&fcsearchfield=Author&fclanguages=all Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/crystal-smith-connelly/id651701989?mt=11 Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/search-books?query=crystal+smith-connelly |
AuthorThis is my blog...this is where I'll post plays, news, and other stuff! Archives
April 2019
Categories
All
|